Three men. Two guitars. One bass. Zero survivors.
Three subjects. Considered armed with instruments and dangerous to eardrums. Do not approach during a key change.
a.k.a. “The Voice”
a.k.a. “Low End Theory”
a.k.a. “The Dane”
Featured exhibits
Full leaked document
| Song | Field Notes |
|---|---|
| Shake It Off | The one that gets nan up and dancing. Every. Time. |
| Baby One More Time | Three grown men. Britney. No regrets. |
| No Scrubs | We are, by all available metrics, scrubs. |
| Jaws Michaels | You think you know where this is going. You don’t. Nobody ever does. |
| S Club | Ain’t no party like an S Club party. Factually correct. |
| Stay Another Day | Contractually required at Christmas. The rest of the year it just shows up anyway. |
| Only You | The Yazoo one. Or the other one. We play both and hope nobody notices. |
| Whole Again | Atomic Kitten. Atomic. |
| Outta My Head / Zorba | Greek dance breakdown midway through. Nobody has ever practised this. It just happens. |
| Simply the Best | Tina would be proud. Probably. We hope. |
| I Want It That Way | Tell me why. No, seriously, tell us — we forgot the second verse. |
| I Wanna Dance With Somebody | Whitney knew. We know. The venue insurance company does not. |
| No Diggity | The bassline alone has been known to cause structural damage. |
| 7 Days | Met this girl on Monday. By Thursday we’d lost the plot. |
| Fix You | Lights will guide you home. Or to the bar. Same thing. |
| Mr Brightside | Mandatory. By law. |
| It’s Not Unusual 🕶 | Three men in dark suits walk into a venue. Nobody remembers what happened next. You’re welcome. |
| Time of Your Life | End of the night. End of times. Lighters out. |
| You’ll Be Back | King George III energy. Thure does the face. |
| Livin’ La Vida Loca | Ricky Martin called. We didn’t answer. We were already playing it. |
| Must Have Been Love | Roxette. Big chorus. Big feelings. Small venue. |
| My Heart Will Go On | Iceberg optional. Emotional damage guaranteed. |
100+ songs. 97 of which are bangers. The other three are also bangers, just quieter.
Confirmed appearances and probable sightings. More dates added as venues accept the risk.
| Date | Venue | City | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Sat 3 May | Bridge House Barn — TipiFest | Kibworth | Get Tickets |
| Sat 24 May | The Forbidden Wing of the British Museum UNCONFIRMED | London (allegedly) | |
| Fri 13 Jun | That weird pub that’s definitely haunted UNCONFIRMED | Market Harborough | |
| Sat 28 Jun | Cargo bay of the ISS CLASSIFIED | Low Earth Orbit | |
| Mon 28 Jul | Bordeaux | France | You’re not invited |
| Fri 29 Aug | Whetstone | Leicester | Too cool for you |
More dates added as venues confirm. Email the band to get on the schedule before the asteroid does.
Please enjoy this complimentary arcade game while we tune up.
Arrow keys / tap sides to move · Space / tap centre to fire
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